If I Die Tonight?

If I died tonight,
Would anyone care?
Because as far as I can see,
No ones even aware,

Sure they know Im a cutter,
And once, they did care,
They even stopped me from committing suicide,
But I know those thoughts just arent there,

My dad called me a psycho,
My sister calls me a freak,
My friends dont show the same interest they once did,
And inside Im so incredibly weak,

Im not going to lie to you,
They talk and ask, "Whats New?"
But can they just not see,
That soon my life might be through?

If I died tonight,
How long would it take to forget my name?
School, friends, family, and fun,
Ill just be another picture on the wall of shame,

If I died tonight,
Or maybe that "if" should be a "will,"
As I lay on the bathroom floor,
Blood from my wrists will continue to spill,

Would my dad still think Im a psycho?
Will my sister still call me a freak?
Will my friends completely lose interest?
Or would they stay up, unable to sleep?

Will I commit suicide,
If things keep getting worse?
How long will I be able to stand,
On lifes cruel course?

I keep sinking into the dark,
Alone more and more,
Still I do cut,
I cant even answer "what for?"

Ive become so very interested,
I keep staring at my wrists,
My mind keeps calling,
For that razorblades kiss,

How long can I keep this urge,
Down at bay?
A time will come when I will give in,
And suicide will come my way,

If I died tonight,
Would you even care?
Because as far as I can see,
You not even aware..